5 easy ways to be bad travel writer
Have pen, will travel. Travel writing is easy and bad travel writing is even easier. Here are five easy ways to not make a living from travel writing.
Be superfluous
The definition of superfluity is “to use a large amount or excess of something”. In the case of writing, the something is words. Bad travel writers will stuff as many words into a sentence as possible in order to ensure that the reader doesn’t miss a single aspect of what is being described. The downside is that the reader has forgotten what it is you’re describing by the end of the sentence.
Use an entire paragraph to lead up to an event
You’re not quite sure where to start and the beginning is way too obvious. So drag out the mystery of where you went and what you saw by describing what you had for breakfast and how you felt about the impending events of the day. Unfortunately, by the time your writing has reached its destination, your reader has already moved on.
Drag out your ending
You’ve left the Sacré-Cœur and it’s been the best day of your life starting with French toast. You’ve used every descriptive word and its synonym to describe it and now you’re blinking into the sunlight, wondering where to go for lunch, and what’s on the menu of that lovely place you saw yesterday, with the friendly man who waved to you when you walked past on your way to buy a baguette. As interesting as that may seem, your reader has probably already left to find their own lunch.
Cliché’s are a bad writer’s best friend
If you’re a bad travel writer you will invariably be describing the sun-dappled trees lining the sweeping vistas of a hotel that is the best-kept secret of wherever you are. See point 1. Sadly, cliché’s in writing are like white noise. For a while a reader might not notice them, but eventually they will run for the silence of a breath-taking rolling hill.
A bad writer says it, therefore it is truth
The world needs to know about the rude attendant and awful food served at a market in Phuket. You were yelled at, it was smelly and the food was disgusting. It is your duty as a bad writer to warn people about this, in fact, tell them never to go there. Ever. The risk is that there are many different types of travellers, and some people love the exoticism of a completely different culture, and will happily try the deep-fried tarantula from a market in a foreign side-street, shouting above the noise of a thousand locals, and may not appreciate you saying otherwise.
If you’re looking for a great travel writer who will help convert your content into paying customers, then look out for these signs of bad travel writing and rather enlist the help of a professional who knows the difference between a good adjective and a bad cliché.
